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- The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
- As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
- The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
- There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
- In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
- Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
- Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
- By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
- During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
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- Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
- Courtesy of Steve Robinson
Sunday, June 21, 2009
There is no reason why we didn't see this coming!!!!! LOL
Posted by
Wade G. Burck
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6 comments:
Ich habe das geshen in 1996!
Let's hope that the other European countries stand up and fight that nonsense. The EU parliament seems hellbent on taking everybody's individually and culture away. What's next? A European government replacing country governments? I hope not.
Hi Wade! After studying German for 7 years and English for most of my life- this is a real hoot! Actually, knowing German and English, you can easily figure out Swedish too, after seeing too many Bergman films! Hope you're well!
Neil Cockerline
Minneapolis
I agree with Neil but find it scary that I could actually read the gibberish as it progressed through the original post. It is not really much different from the "English" that the young people I work with daily current speak and write here in the US.
You may joke, but it ain't that far off the truth!!!The only ones stopping it are the French, and thats only because they want us all to speak french instead of German!!!!!!!!!!
Yes Don, which is quite a good idea I think.
And when you will be able to speak french, you will have to wear a béret, une moustache,porté une baguette sous le bras, et tu devras faire du vélo! lol
By the way, we also gonna show you how to cook ;-)
Guillaume
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