Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ingrid Numbnuts


Ingrid Newkirk, co-founder of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), is so dedicated to her cause that she is determined to continue her campaign for animal rights even after she’s dead.

In fact, she even plans to hold … nay, participate, in a BBQ of sorts … in a very unique way. Here’s her "Unique Will" (her words, not mine):

Upon my death, it is my wish that my body be used in a manner that draws attention to needless animal suffering and exploitation. [...]

a. That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed;

b. That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed, and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year to serve as a reminder of the government’s need to abate the suffering of Indian bullocks who, after a life of extreme and involuntary servitude, as I have seen firsthand, are exported all over the world in this form;

Courtesy of CMC

I am going to make sure her will is fulfilled, by starting out by using her behind as a boot jack. I will then see if I can have a nice whip make out of her skin so I can continue training animals in her honor. Is her candy ass dog not a carnivore? Or is she being kind to him and making him choke down tufu, to build his strong bones and hair coat?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why wait 'til she's dead? She could be skinned alive and her skin made into a lampshade like in Nazi Germany. Does she have any tattoos? The Nazis especially liked tattoos for added decoration...
Neil Cockerline

Anonymous said...

To act like monsters in order to resist monsters is to become them.
Mark Horton

Wade G. Burck said...

Mark,
Did it seem to you that I was resisting her? I was cooperating, doing everything to see that her last will, becomes a reality.
Wade

Anonymous said...

Gee is she related to Ed Gien???

Anonymous said...

Her last will and testament is as ridiculous as her life! Did I say ridiculous? I take that back; as disgusting as her life!
-B