Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Bostock
I have a beautiful framed 8 X 10 of Frank Bostock, I purchased years ago from an art dealer in Philadelphia, dashing in his military uniform, resplendent with a chest full of metals, guns on his hips, posing for a picture, just before entering "the steel bound den of fury, risking life and limb."
Monday, November 15, 2010
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking, but why don't you ask Mac?
Mac, we are going to give you a choice here. No, it isn't your name. I know it is goofy but be happy with Mac. Good news is Fluffy the snake had that name first. Bad news is, now that Fluffy has died, they may want to name a gorilla Fluffy in honor of him. Beside the point, here is your choice. Would you and the girls rather keep living in your old mobile home above, with folks poking in and out of your living room all day, or would you rather move into the new double wide with folks a football field away, that they are bringing in for the new guys? Are you sure you can live without glass to bang on and charge all day long? Make up your mind, before it is too late.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking.
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." If you will start at #1 and work your way back here, you will answer your own question. We educated, cut staff and created a new revenue generating staff. We immersed your elephant and his tusk issues into his environment keeping "visual appeal" in mind. We got your elephant barn cleaned for nothing, saving money to hire a swat team and dogs for your next "gala". But most importantly we shut the lights off in the rabbit hole at Wonderland, so we could bring some of the "enchanted metal siding" out here to The Wilds, killing two birds with one stone as we were coming anyway to get the warning sign, to fix this Bantang's shelter. That broken metal edging is dangerous, particularly for hoof stock. It may be just a cow to you, but to a mama Bantang it's a child. The elephants have Walt Disney in their court. Insignificant, compared to Walt, at least Bullwinkle has Jay Ward. The poor Bantang really has nobody except www.wildcattleconservation.org | Wild Cattle News
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #10
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." Now we are going to spend some, to save some. We are going to buy a tank of gas and drive out to The Wilds, where hardly any public goes, to get the sign above, because the staff should know better, off the Cheetah fence and take it into the zoo, and hang it on the Okapi fence so folks will quit pestering this notoriously shy and secretive animal. You know how "perceptions" are. I like it, so surly they must like it. It makes me happy, so surly they must be happy. I would rather be on an oasis, swimming and frolicking instead of behind bars. That would make me happy. So the animals must be ecstatic.
Now here is where we have really hit the jackpot by saving revenue. For the small cost of a tank of gas we took care of the security breach and gave the Okapi a break
That gives us the resources needed to hire a crack swat team with K-9 dogs for major events and grand openings. You would be amazed at the rift raft, ne'er-do-wells, hooligans, and troublemakers that have been spotted at such large gatherings.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. # 9
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." With all the money we have saved and generated, we should have plenty to get the White-Naped Cranes a more "visually appealing"(just sucking up to the downsized education/graphics department) nesting box. Accepting that what they have is adequate, we want to address education, realism, and natural looking. Worse case scenario we can use the stink box, and it won't cost us a nickle. I would get the Markor in some kind of enclosure I was comfortable and could sleep nights knowing that they were going to stay in, and not fall in a moat and break a leg.(we can use the net's to ship the mushrooms to Mr. Dee and Mr. Dum.) I would spend as much as was necessary to install something other then hot wire in the moose exhibit. Those nutty Alces alces all of a sudden decide to spook and bolt they might wrap up tighter than a mummy in that wire. But let's keep our finger crossed, shall we. If we need any additional funds we can contact the White-Naped Crane sanctuary, the Markhor sanctuary, or the Moose sanctuary. What do mean there isn't one of any signifigance? They have a number of high line elephant sanctuaries and elephant protection/aid/help organizations. What about the poor misunderstood Moose. Now you understand why a lot of money has to be spent on the public relations, bluffing that "perception" deal that folks have. Dumbo had Walt Disney and the Disney machine and poor Bullwinkle had to do the best he could with Jay Ward Productions and Rocky. Don't underestimate and cut short your PR Department.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #8
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." Here's where we make some money, and spend a bit. Also because elephants are "hot items" right now, we are going to take advantage. All the the folks who want to smell stink, can volunteer to help muck out the elephant barn in the morning. I know for a fact, they will have all the stink they can handle, and we get free labor which transmits into less overheard. But more importantly we can get rid of this piece of nonsense above. But we are going to keep it in the warehouse, on the off chance we should ever need it. With no graphic's department, and Colo up to her hairy eyeballs in "creativity", we can put it back up if the folks needed something to smell after they were finished in the elephant barn, although I bet they are going to have their fill of stink. We are going to spend a small amount and rig up a more "visually appealing"(the education dept. loves that term. See how we squared the beef and calmed them down after 86ing their enlightenment camp below and the stink hole above) hot wire system for the baby elephant below. That way he will actually have to touch it to get bit, instead of getting grabbed when he turns to look at it, or leans that way. 
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. # 7
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." Now that we have made a lot of money in 1 through 6 it is time to spend a little. I would try to find out what is going on with my elephants tusks. Realizing that there is wear and tear in captivity as well as in the wild, we might first look at the realistic Rocky Mountains that is at the back of the exhibit. Not that we can address anything right now, what with the funds dumped into "bringing back" the Polar Bears. But for starters we can give the hose repair clamps on the boy above back to the maintenance department to fix hoses, so we don't need to by new hose. With the money saved we can get him a set of those high line King Tusk add on's with the rhinestones, bugle beads and sequins. What with all the boat rides, roller coasters, outback treks, baubles and gee donks he will blend right in, natural like. You won't even need a pile of rocks or a gunnite pond to replicate an African Savanna. We will blend him into Neverland.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. # 6
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." Here is where you really missed the boat. Instead of shaming Colo because you had her locked up and she couldn't generate the revenue to have a high dollar "enlightened" plaque, you should have given her some paint brushes and paper, and eliminated your graphic's department expense long ago. I promise Colo could have done as good of a job, but more importantly do you know what "monkey art" is selling for? The lines are twice as long as the elephant painting lines. Who knows, Mac and the kid's might take an interest, and you would have a whole artist colony producing "one of a kinds" as fast as you could price them. Might get Mac off the window for a while also.
Columbusonian, have you ever checked on how much money had to be refunded when folks came to get an autograph from World Wrestling Federation Doink the Clown and found out he wasn't really there? You may have even dodged a false advertising bullet a time or two.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #5
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! Naomi Coyle Dempsey rates a high dollar brass plaque and Colo, the first gorilla born in a zoo, and the current oldest rates the lunch special chalk board from Mel's Diner!!!!!(that Dolly Henderson deal doesn't count, although it was a nice gesture) What, did Naomi Coyle Dempsey have more money then Colo? Give Colo a break, you've had her locked up her whole life. How was she supposed to get a job? Leave the enlightenment for the Dali Lama. That's his racket and he was worked it successfully for a long, long time. Lets see what we can get from the scrap yard for the brass plaque and enlighten Colo with something more fitting her contribution to captive animal science.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #4
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." In 1,2, and 3 all we have been doing is working hard to get rid of useless ballast and generate revenue. Here we get to have fun as well as scuttle useless ballast and generate revenue. You are going to get in touch with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee and see what you can get for the mushrooms above. They would look great in Wonderland. Play your cards right, and they may put you in touch with the Mad Hatter and he would probably give you a good price on the the trench coats and umbrella below. Give him the bee keepers hood and jacket and hives in the next room, if it will help seal the deal. You have bee's well represented in the kiddie park on Stings, Wings and Playthings. Once this building is empty, we have a use for the siding, so we aren't going to tear it down yet. It's there, so we might as well leave it standing for now. Don't worry about the children not knowing where the animals fit in to their world. Until they understand what a fish footman and a frog footman do, and how the Duchess turns a baby into a pig, we don't need to go any further with their "interpreting".
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #3
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." I would try to sell this to San Diego. It would be nicer then the Bolivian llama cart they have. Klondike Village's are all the rage at the moment, so it should be no problem getting it sold and off the shelf. My uncle has a dozen of these deals behind the barn in North Dakota. Some in better shape, some in worse shape. He'll give them all to you, all you have to do is haul them away. Now you have a old wagon concession to handle all the trade from the Klondike Village folks. Being the "only game in town" you are going to have more money then you know what to do with.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #2
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." I would contact the Bellagio or the Luxor and see if they wanted to buy back this "atmosphere". Point out that you can never have too much realization in Vegas, if it will help tip the deal. I would toss in the extinction bell if they gave me a good enough price on the entrance's.
For Columbusonian--Thanks for asking. #1
"I'm curious to see where you would have rather seen the money spent in the zoo." I would dig around in the warehouse and see if I could find the high wire rigging that was used by the fellow to walk over the lion exhibit, a number of years ago. Then I would hire a wire walker to be Blondini(Canada) and have him walk across this falls. I would call it "little Niagara"(Canada) and you could get some old Blondini(Canada) advertising from that joint on Clifton Hill, in Niagara Falls, Ontario(Canada) You can probably see what I have done here, but if you haven't, it goes like this, the folks are gathered, to watch Blondini(Canada), because of the posters you borrowed from the joint on Clifton Hill(Canada) cross pretend Niagara Falls(Canada) where incidentally there are Polar Bears!!!!!!! You see, I got the conservation message across, didn't need to relocate any bears, and gathered a bunch of folks with money to spend. It didn't cost any more then postage to have the Blondini posters sent to Columbus, and the time to look for the high wire rigging. In fact, save yourself some time and ask Jungle Jack what he did with it when he was finished with it last time.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Polar Frontier--When is enough, enough?
Berlin Zoo had this "educational" theme decades ago with their Wisent house. Now it is called "antiquated/old zoological thinking." We have seen Gorilla's, Killer Whales, Polar Bears, etc. and the recent insanity Elephants, do their time as the "animal du jour." When will a camel, or a wisent, or a coati mundi get their chance at being the "feel good 0 the year?" "Public perception" is the inmate running the asylum.
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